My Fellow American

This video portrays a powerful message inciting the bigotry and delusion that many Americans have towards the Muslim community. In reality, it shows that Muslims are a structural, valuable part of American society, depicting them as doctors, police officers, firemen, successful business workers and loving family members. A MUST WATCH!

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A Ballsy Investment


On a small section of the Sinn Féin website, separated from pictures of smiling politicians and democratic goals, there is an online store where a budding Republican might linger. As one would expect there are all sorts of nationalist and historic memorabilia up for sale, like posters of Irish Martyrs and books about the struggle for independence. Scrolling further down the page the list of categories get more staunch republican; selling items such as Long Kesh wristbands and coloured pins of Bobby Sands. But no matter how much of an Irish patriot you are, would you really have no hesitation walking down the street wearing a T-shirt with the words "IRA" written across the front?

There is no denying that Sinn Fein have previously been sympathisers of the IRA during the troubles, but in recent years the party has openly distanced itself from dissident groups and have gradually gained support from the Irish pubic by focusing on achieving goals through peaceful and democratic methods. Now that Gerry Adams is representing Sinn Fein in Dáil, it is now unquestionably prudent to wipe out any shred of suspicion that he or his party is associated with any dissident group.

Wearing controversial clothing has become something of a fad in western culture and exhibiting your political beliefs on your body is one of the most effective ways to flaunt your message out to the world without actually doing or saying anything. Selling IRA T-shirts on political website will certainly invoke much controversy and emotion amongst anyone who is familiar with Irish history, as it is a constant reminder of the unprecedented violence and senseless deaths that have affected so many people in an unspeakable way.

I have the utmost confidence in saying that you will never see a Sinn Fein politician or candidate parading one these T-Shirts. If Gerry Adams walked into the Dáil tomorrow wearing a T-shirt with the words "IRA: Undefeated army" across the front, there would, without doubt, be a media/national frenzy to stricken the Sinn Fein leader of any political or communal merit that he has painstakingly gained throughout the years. So why in the name of God are the citizens loyal to Sinn Fein expected to keep the cruel memory of the past alive by tormenting passers-by with prospect that the IRA are not dead?

Who is Anders Breivik

"The time for dialogue is over. We gave peace a chance. The time for armed resistance has come."

An enthralling group of online investigators are currently searching the web for clues to track down the motives and persona of the Norwegian sadist Anders Breivik.

Slaughtering over 90 people on the island Utoya and Norwegian city of Oslo, members of the online community seem persistent on finding out why this unprecedented massacre took place.
A 1,500 page manifesto was discovered on a US based white-supremacist forum, which Norwegian authorities later connected it to Breivik. The piece itself is written entirely in English and is entitled "2083: A European Declaration of Independence." The author refers to himself as Andrew Breivik, and posted the document on earlier this year.

Breivik declares himself a "Justiciar Knight Commander" and explains the need to "seize political and military control of Western European countries and implement a cultural conservative political agenda." In grim, apocalyptic language, it advocates attacks on "traitors" across Europe who are supposedly enabling a Muslim takeover of the continent.

In a chilling forewarning of Friday's attack Breivik wrote "The time for dialogue is over. We gave peace a chance. The time for armed resistance has come." The author also kept a diary which outlines his 82-day attempt to secretly construct a bomb made out of fertilizer while hiding out at a farm in the rural town of Rena.
There is no question that Breivik's sole purpose was to create an explosion large enough to kill a colossal number of people
In an entry dated back to June 13, Breivik describes his first successful detonation:
"I prepared a test device today and drove off to a very isolated site. The test bomb was composed of a 3g DDNP primary and a 30g PA secondary. If this test would fail, I would abandon operation A and move forward with the non-spectacular operation B.
I lit the fuse, went out of range and waited. It was probably the longest 10 seconds I have ever endured…
BOOM! The detonation was successful!!!:-) I quickly drove away to avoid any potential unwanted attention, from people in the vicinity. I would have to come back a few hours later to investigate the blast hole, to see if both compounds had detonated".
Despite his evident hatred of Muslims and Arabs, "Berwick" professes admiration for al Qaeda, which he lists as one of only two "successful militant organisations" due to its "superior structural adaptation. "Elsewhere, he cites al Qaeda's training manual as a reference, and declares, "Just like Jihadi warriors are the plum tree of the Ummah, we will be the plum tree for Europe and for Christianity."
In another eerie parallel, he also calls for suicidal operations in service of the larger cause: "Let us be perfectly clear; if you are unwilling to martyr yourself for the cause, then the PCCTS, Knights Templar is not for you."

In a recent news update from Reuters, Breivik revealed that he killed 93 people to spark a "revolution" against the multiculturalism he believed was sapping Europe's heritage, and experts say a frank debate about immigration may be the best way to prevent similar explosions of violence.

Although Breivik is cooperating with the police and openly revealing his reasons for the massacre, Internet enthusiasts are continuing to search for any further clues which will ensure that he receives a lengthy prison sentence.

Breivik's manifesto can be found here at

The 12 minute video below was first uploaded to youtube by Breivik but was recently taken down due to the indecident nature it depicts. The video crudely outlines the bigoted principles and values of his manifesto, but reveals an even more disturbing image - a window into Breivik's insanity.

An unexpected couple of weeks

              Sayonara Mother Fuckers!

Jaysus, it's been bloody ages since I last posted on this site. To make a long story short the ads featured on this blog are no longer assessable because the dastardly bastards known as Google have cut me off from their precious Adsense. Basically I was on vacation for two weeks and was banned for "neglecting to produce any Shit-Hot posts". Ah well, ads or not this blog will continue to stay alive and prosper without the watchful eye of those Google commies. I will also attempt to post a topic everyday without the intent of making money.

        Chugging on the streets of Dublin

Let me make it perfectly clear that the term "Chugger" does not mean (in my case) someone who throws back a large quantity of alcohol to impress a crowd of drunken idiots. A chugger is actually a combination of a charity collector and a mugger. Whatever city you are in, you are nearly 99% likely of being stopped by a street fundraiser who will attempt to butter you up for the purpose of taking your bank details. Usually I would totally ignore them and briskly walk away thinking of how irritating and pathetic these people are. I have always considered these guys as scammers and actors who pry on vulnerable people and milk them of their hard earned cash. Not once have I tried to place myself inside a chugger's shoes and grasp what they actually go through... That was until I put my dignity to the side and became a full time charity fundraiser in Dublin.

Up until three weeks ago I have been desperately looking for a summer job. I handed out over 60 CVs and have applied for a countless number of positions across the web. Anyway, one morning while browsing I stumbled upon a fundraising job and out of sheer curiosity I ventured forth and opened the page. In the description it outlined that I would be working five days a week with a minimum wage of €350 + commission. Very much intrigued by the prospect of earning this much I filled in the application and was contacted for an interview the very next day.

During my interview I was led into a spacious conference room with around eight other candidates. A woman then asked us to describe the person to our left and talk about a charity of our choice. This was a basic strategy to reveal what kind of people we were and to see if we had the necessary social and persuasion credentials to fit the bill. I thought I did dreadful during the interview, but as fate disclosed I got the job. 

My first day seemed to go swimmingly. I used the training I learned in my induction to try and convince people that this particular charity was worth every cent of their money. For the most effective way of stopping someone you have to catch their eye at a distance and approach them using a ridiculously amount of energy and affection. We were advised to talk to people like they were our best friend and then use an informative, yet devious dialogue to render their heart strings. If the particular person showed even the slightest bit of concern or interest we had to put our acting skills to the test and persuade them fork over their bank account details. Usually you have to make three sales a day but since it was my first day on the job one sign up kept them happy.

At first I didn't really mind flagging people down and I kept myself entertained by coming up with all sorts of  things to get folks to stop and talk. One was introducing myself as Sarah; another was asking random girls to marry me and the most effective way was by mistaking people as celebrities. The majority of people who actually did stop were really nice and even if they weren't interested in donating anything they would talk to me about their lives and plans for the day. Those who didn't stop just completely ignored me and some even went to the extent of telling me to go fuck myself. I didn't take any negativity to heart though as I can completely understand how annoying it could be for someone who just wanted to walk down a street without being pounced upon.

After a couple of days on the streets I finally began to grasp the true meaning of what it was really like to be a chugger. I started to get annoyed with our "don't take no for an answer" policy. If a person stated that they didn't have their account details in their possession we were to follow them to their banks to retrieve an account statement.  If their bank was closed we had to ask the individual if they would ring someone who knew their payment details. If that wasn't conniving enough, we were instructed not to tell the donor that they would be signing up to a five year contract. A donation of 12 to 21 euros a month for five years would surely be a serious toll on anyone, especially in the economic mess Ireland is in at the moment.

Street fundraising is also a very unstable and stressful job, especially for someone who has to support a family or pay college fees. In the charity I was working for we had to get at least three sign-ups a day or else we would get the sack. There were guys in black suits monitoring us from time to time and if we didn't look motivated or up to scratch then they would approach us and tell us to go home indefinitely. After just one week of chugging, six out of the eight new people got fired. It was just me and one other dude left. One poor lad actually came all the way in just to be told to go home. We were later told that he was caught handing a CV into some store in town. I knew in my heart that my time was nigh and that any day now someone would catch me off guard and fire me on the spot. When I began to seriously think about this possibility I have to admit that I wasn't worried in the slightest. I was fed up with hassling people who were trying to go about their day and was sick of eating my lunch sitting on the edge of a dirty street. Yesterday morning I rang the head office explaining that this job wasn't for me. They didn't even ask for an explanation and coolly responded that I have to return any mandates and t-shirts that belonged to the company.

I will be seriously glad to leave that job behind me once and for all. If I learned anything from my short time working as a chugger it would be that a business is a business and a charity is a charity. Combining the two only gives a good cause a bad reputation.

The hardest time of my childhood!

Am I the only person here who had such a hard time completing this God forsaken temple? When I was only  10 years old I remember going around in circles for months trying to find a key that could unlock this door near the main entrance. What was so frustrating about this level was that every time you needed to go under water you had to press the start button and switch to your heavy metal boots and when you wanted to surface and walk around normally you had to repeat this process all over again. It was the biggest pain in the ass! I don't know why the Water Temple has implanted itself into my brain, but I have so many vivid memories of getting up early and staying up late just to look for this fucking key! I know it may seem dumb as hell now, but at the time completing this temple was really important to me. It was just something that had to be done. The curiosity of what was behind that locked door drove me insane and I knew that sooner or later I would eventually find out. I can even remember saving up my allowance for this weirdly shaped, blue N64 controller that had an automatic button in the centre.
At the time I figured that once I pressed this button, Link would independently move and complete the level on his own. When I did get around to pressing it, Link just repeatedly swung his sword around over and over again. I had just wasted £30!  One day, when I just so happened to be playing the game in my friends house, I unintentionally stumbled upon an unopened chest. My little heart jumped at the sight of this miraculous discovery and when I opened it there it was. That infamous key that had been the torn in my paw for over 3 months was now in my possession. The funny thing was that I don't even know what I did. It wasn't as if I had intentionally figured out some complex puzzle to make the chest appear. I must of just accidentely walked into the room it was in. Well long story short I opened the door and literally flew though the rest of the temple, despite my encounter with Dark Link. Sure, I had difficulty with some of the other temples in the game, but it was nothing compared to my ordeal in the Water Temple. It's funny how the simplest and virtually insignificant things in our lives can have such a long lasting impact. To this day I've never come across a game as poignant as Zelda: Ocarina of Time and I doubt I ever will.
For those unfortunate souls who have never gotten passed this temple, here is a simplified walk-through. God I wish youtube was around when I was a kid...


Alcohol + Weed = Pain!!!

So after a tumultuous night of enjoying a few drinks with some pals, we deemed it was in order to light up a spliff. Since my parents are not exactly cool with me doing drugs inside the house we departed to the outside world for a more peaceful and happy high.

                                   Let me set the scene...

Close to my home there is a long, dark stretch of woodland in between two housing estates. People rarely travel through this area at night and since it was pissing rain there was a sure chance that nobody would cross our paths. As we slowly made our way up this region, I felt the alcohol taking affect. My movements became very unstable and from a distance it would of looked as if I had cerebral palsy. Having a great time talking intoxicated bullshit with my friends we eventually lit the joint. As I inhaled I realised that the weed was really powerful and that it wouldn't take much to get the job done. Before I passed it on, I took one final pull and then ever so slowly exhaled the smoke from my lungs. My mind suddenly began to slip out of focus and the world rapidly deteriorated before my eyes. Before I realised what I had done, I collapsed and hit the path with such a force that my body became temporarily paralysed. When I became self-aware of my surroundings again, I started to uncontrollably laugh which in turn set my friends off. 
After they helped me up we decided to call it a night and go our separate ways. It was only after I got home that I realised I had a huge gash on my hand. Luckily I didn't need to go to the hospital to get stitches or a tetanus, but the task of cleaning the wound was very painful nonetheless. I know I sound like a scrawny punk that can't handle a bit of weed (I probably am), but it was the first time that I ever inflicted an injury under the influence of beer/weed. My advice to anyone who drinks or does weed is to use it sensibly and sparingly. 
Stay safe!



Summer Goals!

Schools out bitches!!  Like everyone else who is not a mentally challenged slob, I too plan on doing a shit load of things before the end of  summer vacation. So far I plan on going abroad, partying with my homeys, scoring a Playboy girl, making a tonne of cash and taking up the guitar. OK, so maybe pulling a Playboy girl is out of the question, unless you're Charlie Sheen, but does anyone really live up to their summer goals? If you do then fair deuce, but if you're like me then why is it so hard to carpe diem?
For example, today's a beautiful sunny day, but I cant do anything because I'm dying of a hangover and way too sleep deprived to go out. I feel like a zombie/mongo. I just wanna lie here and have someone spoon feed me on demand. My first genuine and vital goal is to get a job, and if that doesn't destroy my soul entirely, then, and only then, can I pursue the rest of my objectives. I'll keep you all up to date with my half-ass attempts on the "pursuit of doing stuff."
*I better go, the Church collection lady is at the door. I might just fill an envelope with buttons and give it to her. 

Classic Gangster!

"I wish you was a wishing well. So that I could tie a bucket to ya and sink ya."

When I first discovered that I would be studying Classical films as part of my Journalism course, I have to admit that I wasn't too keen on the idea of sitting through hours of dreary, black and white nonsense. I had a total ignorance against most films pre-1960 and thought that in no way could these movies ever appeal to today's audience.  However, after watching Raoul Walsh's White Heat I was hooked for life! Of course the violence isnt as hardcore as it is today, but the build up of tension through an endless stream of action and wit is never denied. Out of any gangster film I've seen, Public enemey (1931) and the Roaring Twenties (1939)

have to be my favourite. James Cagney portrays a merciless criminal who is out to get rich and whos not afraid to deal with anyone who get in his way. Set during the backdrop of the Great Depression both films possess the core themes of lust, hate, and extreme violence. They also have a nostalgic quality that makes you wish that you were around during this exciting time.
The section below includes my list of must see recommondations that can be found with little effort online....
1. Public Enemy (1931)    
2. The Roaring Twenties (1939)
3. Scarface (1932)
4. The Big Heat (1953)
5. White Heat (1949)
6. Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)
7. Citizen Kane (1941)
8. Little Caesar (1930)
9. The Petrified Forest (1936)
10. Dillinger (1945)


Viva la Revolution!

What better way of rebelling against "the man" than by throwing a fire extinguisher off a building!

As you all should know, the Muslim world is now in a state of rebellion. Ordinary people, who were commonly referred to as simple merchants and idle students, are now seen as modern-day revolutionaries, risking their lives for the cause of liberty. The protester's struggle has caught the attention and support from the Western world and are receiving medical supplies and diplomatic aid from them. The protests are now spreading right across the middle-east, into the vast regions of Gaza to the exotic plains of Iran. I'm sure that we are all hoping that their campaigns will be a success. Only time will tell...

Speaking from an Irish perspective, protests here seem to 
always get out of hand. They're genuinely well-organised and many people attend, but as things get into drive the protesters tend to split into two groups: The people who are actually serious about expressing their views, and those who are merely looking for an excuse to reek havoc!
Last November during the National Student protest, everything was going swimmingly, until the peaceful demonstration got hijacked by some delirious republican group. This particular group used the large crowds to their advantage and riled the authorities up by smashing windows and attempting to storm our parliament. They gave students everywhere a very bad name that day, but even though demonstrations can turn to shit now and again, never underestimate the power of a protest. But if you look back on the Civil Rights movement in America during the 60's or the Anti-War protests during the Vietnam era, it is sooo fuckin evident that us ordinary folks have the real power to make a difference!


The mis-adventures of Silvio Berlusconi!

               "Better to be fond of beautiful girls than gay" - Silvio Berlusconi

In case you haven't already heard, Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's beloved Prime minister, has gotten himself into a rather titillating situation. At the ripe old age of 74 you would think that Berlusconi's days of crazed debauchery were long over. This could not be further away from the truth!!! Last January the PM was placed under criminal investigation for allegedly having sex with an underage prostitute and for abusing his power by bailing this insanely hot hooker out of jail in October 2010. To respond to this scrotum tightining accusation, Berlusconi hilariously quoted: "I've never paid a woman. I never understood where the satisfaction is when you're missing the pleasure of conquest." Believe it or not there are still some people who think that the media have simply made up this rouse to damage the Italian PM's repretation, but if we take a little look on Berlusconi's past we may be able to take this matter to bed once and for all (no pun intended).

In April 2009, Berlusconi chose young, attractive female candidates with little or no political experience to represent his party in the European Parliament elections. This pissed off his wife Veronica Lario so much that she wrote open letters of complaint stating that it was not likely that her marriage would last. Berlusconi was also fond of attending 18th birthday parties of girls who he had little connection with. His wife soon filed for divorce stating that her husband was not even present at his own son's 18th and that she could not "remain with a man who consorted with minors."

One of Berlusconi's young lady friends, Noemi Letizia revealed to the press that the PM likes it when she calls him "papi" (daddy) and that he promised to take care of her career as showgirl or politician or whatever she opted to pursue. Even though this sounds very suspicious on Berlusconi's behalf, the PM maintained that he never had "spicy" relations with this girl, swearing on his children's heads.

In November 2010, a 17 year old Moroccan prostitute known as Ruby Rubacuori claimed to have been given $10,000 by Berlusconi at parties at his private villas. The girl told prosecutors in Milan that these events were like orgies where Berlusconi and 20 young women performed an African-style ritual known as the "bunga bunga" in the nude. Now far be it from me to come to such henious conclusions, but I'm pretty sure that Berlusconi's days of escorted sexual inablers are over...

15 words that will make you sound smart!

1. Sesquipedalian (ses⋅qui⋅pe⋅da⋅li⋅an) - adjective: using long words: characterized by the use of long words
2. Plenipotentiary (plen⋅i⋅po⋅ten⋅ti⋅ar⋅y) - noun: Having full power: invested with complete authority to act independently
3. Nudiustertian (nu⋅di⋅us⋅ter⋅tian) - adjective: The day before yesterday
4. Charientism (char·i·en·tis·m) - noun: A figure of speech wherein a taunting expression is softened by a jest; an insult veiled in grace.
5. Obfuscate (ob·fus·cate) - verb: To confuse, bewilder or stupefy.
6. Vicissitude (vi⋅cis⋅si⋅tude) - noun: Regular change or succession from one thing to another.
7. Heliolatry (he·li·ol·a·try) To worship the sun.
8. Facetious (fa·ce·tious) - adjective: Intended to be humorous but often silly or inappropriate. *The only word in the English language to have all the vowels in order.
9. Autochthonous (au·toch·tho·nous) - adjective: Formed or originating in the place where found.
10. Oscitant (os·ci·tant ) - adjective: Drowsy or inattentive.
11. Perseverate (per·sev·er·ate) - verb: To repeat something insistently or redundantly.
12. Logomachy (lo·gom·a·chy) - noun: An argument marked by the reckless or incorrect use of words.
13. Defenestrate (de·fen·es·trate) - verb: To throw something or somebody out of a window.
14. Pandiculation (pan⋅dic⋅u⋅la⋅tion) - noun:  The act of streching and yawning.
15. Blatherskite (blath⋅er⋅skite) - noun: talkative person: somebody who enjoys silly or unimportant chat. 


Procrastination is like masturbation.  At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself...  

I first decided to write about this exciting topic around 12.30 today during my afternoon lunch of bangers and mash. The college restaurant was particularly busy and I was waiting in the queue for over 10 minutes before the chef asked me whether I'd like a small or large portion of food. Now I had a big breakfast so I wasn't that hungry but since I'd been waiting for so long I decided that I deserved a treat. I got the large portion! The chef then asked me if I wanted curry or gravy over my bangers and mash and I looked at him as if he had two heads. Who the fuck has curry over bangers and mash? I asked for gravy - but not too much.

                               Anyway, back to the topic!!!

Procrastination is about colour coordinating your books, checking your emails, staring out your window, making cups of tea, petting your dog, chasing a fly or daydreaming into space. Its about doing multiple things at once without getting 1 thing done. Even at this very moment I'm more preoccupied with watching the Simpsons and stalking celebrities on Twitter than with writing this post. According to google the only way to stop procrastinating is to dicipline yourself by setting realistic goals and to prioritse everything you do. As for me I'll start to kick the habit as soon as I'm done pairing up my socks.


Obeying the rules at home

When I look back on my childhood I wonder how I survived at all. Growing up in a traditional Irish Catholic home came with its fair share of strict rules and punishments. Now I'm not saying that my life was like something out of Angela's Ashes but my pre-adolescence was very rule abiding nonetheless. Break one of my parents rules and it was the belt or wooden spoon across the arse! I remember how much I hated going to mass on Sundays and how I broke my father's heart by telling him that I didn't believe in God or Gaelic football for that matter. When I entered into my teenage years however things lightened up a whole lot. I was given a good deal of independence and an even greater opportunity to make my own mistakes, but no matter how much autonomy I was given I still had to follow my parents old-age saying "If you live under this roof you live under our rules!!"
This children's story was written in 1845 by a creepy German man named Heinrich Hoffmann. He used horrifying fear tactics in his picture book Struwwelpeter as a means to get children to follow the not-so-serious rules of their parents. The story of little suck-a-thumb was the tale that terrified me the most. I have no idea what my mother was thinking when she read it to me.


How to get ready for a night out

Assuming that the majority of my readers are heterosexual males, I take it that hygiene and bodily maintenance aren't on your list of top priorities. I'll admit that most guys do follow a basic sanitary routine when hitting the town, but is it really enough to win the approval of the opposite sex? You lazy smelly fat bastards need to realise that a well groomed appearance is just as important as any sleazy chat up line or pervy erotic dance in some trendy club. Drunk chicks don't care about your personality or "inner beauty", all they really want is a fit guy with a happenin style or at best someone who looks like they have lots of money. Also keep in mind that looking slick isn't just for the ladies benefit. People are more inclined to take you seriously and listen to what you have to say if you take care of your appearance. Here is a useful list of grooming and maintenance tips to help you look your best. 

Shaving: Get yourself a decent razor. Disposables are too unreliable and wont give you a close enough shave.
When your in the shower clean your face with a natural bar of soap. This will soften the bristles and make for a better shave. Run a razor smoothly over your face, shaving with the grain. After rinsing your face with water, reapply your shaving foam and this time go against the grain for the smoothest results. Rinse again with cold water. This will close the pores and prevent dirt from getting into your skin. Apply a soothing shaving balm to prevent your skin from drying out.
Acne: Place a fresh clean towel on your pillow before you go to bed. Say goodbye to acne! (I have no idea how this one works)
Feet: Step into the shower without touching the foot towel (stepping onto the towel will put your feet bacteria on it), wash feet thoroughly and step onto a small clean towel until dry, then put on clean socks.   
Body hair: Trim your eyebrows, ear hairs and nose hairs. Ask your barber to shave the back of your neck. 
Genitalia: Wash your scrotum everyday and put baby powder down there to keep it fresh. Don't shave your pubes, trim the hair instead to keep everything neat and tidy.
Fingernails: Trim your finger nails every fortnight. File them don't bite them!
Skin: Use lots of moisturiser to keep your skin dehydrated and glossy looking.
Oral Hygiene: Want to know if your breath stinks? Lick your wrist 
and smell it, yes its nasty. Solution: Get a tongue scraper to get rid of that crap stuck to the back of your tongue.
Hair: Figure out which length works best for you. The longer your 
hair is the more you need to wash it. Gel is fine but don't overdo it.
Clothes: Forget logos. A nice fitting shirt is more important than the logo placed on it. Make sure the seam on top of the sleeves matches where the edge of your shoulders are. If they aren't, the shirt doesn't fit properly. Hats and shoes are the only exceptions to this rule. It is hard to find hats without obvious logos, and dress shoes are pretty much the only shoes to come logoless. Keep your jeans free of large holes. If so, the hole(s) should be limited to the shins. Absolutely NO knee/thigh holes. Having the ends of the legs frayed from normal wear is not only acceptable, its preferred. A pair of pants is good for about a week. After that you need to wash them. A shirt is good for anywhere between 1-5 days, depending on whether or not you were sweating in it. Make sure you have at least one suit.


Trippin balls in college!

After 5 glorious weeks of no lectures I am finally back in college! With a brand new semester in full swing all my past sins have been forgiven forgotten :) I still cant believe how fast this year is going, before I know it I'll be in my 3rd year and graduating or else get expelled for some reckless shenanigan that I didnt do. The only downside of college yesterday was that I spent the entire day trippin balls on LSD and couldn't really follow what was going on. OK, well I didn't actually take any drugs but in the giving circumstance I was in another world altogether. You see, the night before last was the worst night of sleep that I ever had. In fact no such occurrence of sleep had even taken place. After about 4 hours of tossing and turning I gave up on the aspect of a peaceful slumber and spent the rest of the night listening to music. At this point I knew I was screwed and decided the only way I'd survive the day was to have caffeine continuously running through my veins. By the time I got on the bus I felt like a total zombie, the lights were on but there was nobody home. Surprisingly my first class wasn't that bad. 6 people were chosen to act out a mock political debate and the rest of us had to throw difficult and confusing questions at them. Around 1.00pm that day I was in a state of comical hysteria. I exploded into fits of laughter at the most random and ridiculous things and whenever someone said anything remotely dull or uninteresting I'd begin to feel the weight of my own tiredness and slip into an emotionless gaze. I was reminded of this documentary I once saw about this American lad who actually developed an inability to sleep and eventually died of this unceasing deprivation. It seems mad now but on my journey home the thought about losing the ability to sleep worried the shit out of me.
By the time I arrived home I could literally feel the strain of having to keep my eyes open and eventually manged to drag myself up to bed where I had the best 13 hours sleep of my life.

Castletown Donkey Derby 1994, Ireland!

This is undoubtedly one of the funniest and most brilliant videos that I've ever seen on youtube. I have watched it like 10 times and still uncontrollably lulz throughout. Every second is pure gold and in my opinion it should go viral within days. Here are a list of tags that basically sum up the video:
-Donkey Derby
-Rural Ireland
-hysteric + self-deluded commentator
-lowww budget
-attempted donkey sex


What better way of rekindling ones lust for nature than with the thrilling adventure of camping. Living it rough amongst the enchanted expanse of a forest glade is a sure fire way for a person to truly "find themselves." Miles away from civilisation with nothing but the alluring landscape to hold you back will be an unforgettable, enriching experience in your life. Now before you jump on the bandwagon and run off to some field in the middle of nowhere you should familiarise yourself with the various types of camping...

1. Trailer park/campsites: Your usually guaranteed to have a great time when you choose this style of camping. Girls are more inclined to come with you and there should be plenty of things to do and places to go within the area. Toilet and shower facilities should be available within the complex and drinkable water is usually free, so there's little risk of anyone running dry and being forced to drink their own piss. The down side about pitching a tent within a campsite is that you have to obey their gay ass rules. You cant get drunk off your ass and prance around the site with your pants undone or have the pleasure of capturing your own prey and slaughtering it in honour of the sun god. My advise to anyone going to a campsite this year is to wait until your last day to reek havoc and to leave the place being hated by every member of staff.

2. The great outdoors: This type of camping usually appeals to guys who want to take their manliness to the next level and to test the survival skills they learnt from watching Bear Grylls on Discovery. Its a great feeling being out in the open and one with nature. There's nothing better than setting half the forest on fire to cook weenies or knowing that you don't have to clean up after yourself, but be warned!!! Some douchebag in your group will probably bring along a guitar and expect you to listen to him sing James Blunt all night so have your ipod speakers handy at all times. Also, make sure that you bring enough food to last you the entire trip because in 9/10 cases if a person goes without food for more than 2 days then they will involuntarily resort to cannibalism.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, guys who spend a lot of time alone together naturally open up to each other and express the personal things that are on their minds. Don't get sucked into this trap and contribute to the meaningful conversation at hand because I assure you that one thing will lead to another and things will be taken out of proportion. If you don't stick to the topic of beer, girls and violence then be prepared for you own Brokeback mountain adventure. Also be extremely cautious of Hillbillies because if they see you alone in the woods then they will rape you!!!!!


Inside, rainy day, NO INTERNET!

Its 3.00pm and I'm currently writing on a shitty ass word document because my Internet has decided to stop working, Maybe my Broadband provider found out about all those illegally downloaded songs and cut off my server or maybe there is something wrong with my modem. What ever the reason, I'm bored as hell being stuck indoors with nothing to do. I would love nothing more than to go outside and hang around with my mates but the rain is so fuckin hardcore at the mo that if I stepped outside I would probably drown :(

So here I am alone with feck all to do. I never realised how shitty day time TV can be. Honestly, if I wanted to hear an aging lesbian continuously interrupt someone trying to talk I would give one of my college lecturers a ring. Normally on a day like this I would be on facebook reading about other people complaining about the rain and joining whimsical facebook groups relating to the weather but alas here I am, back in the stone age with only a limited number of conversing tools.

Its not as bad as it seems though, I got tonnes of shit done without the distraction of friends calling over or youtube nagging at me to watch another RWJ video. My room is now clean, my colleges assignments have been started and the "guns" have been pumped. The day seems a lot longer since I'm not wasting my time watching dumb videos or gawking at topless women sprawled out on motorcycles. I guess one of these rainy, Internetless days are necessary once in a while.


Let me ask you a simple question: Are you alone right now?
If your answer is yes then isn't it obvious that your some sort of social retard, renowned for your failure to fit into society, destined to die alone, forever a virgin. Face it your life is a joke, a tragedy, a waste of air. If you answered no on the other hand and it just so happens that your in the presence of another human being, then ask yourself:  "Is my self-esteem so shallow that I have to depend on other people to give my life significance?" I know your type! Your the sort of person who fits neatly into a social clique but cant be trusted to be left alone even for a minute, just incase you would try and slit your wrists with a spoon!! 

If the above sounds at all like you then please leave this potencial blog and see a pychologist immediately. When your all better and ready to fit into society's version of normality then return here and read all about the ins and outs of staying in and going out. 
This blog is generally about the variations of what peoples lives are like when they are alone and when they are with others.